(PULSATING)
(SLOW MUSIC PLAYING)
Oh, poor thing,
New fertilizer didn't take, Another victim,
(MEOWING)
Honey, have a little respect for the dead,
(PURRING)
I'm starting to feel like a serial killer,
Well, hello there,
(INHALING) Mmm,
Hmm, and who are you?
Did you come from next door?
Well then, little orphan, I know just the place for you,
You are a beauty,
But what are you?
Hmm, so you're a tough guy, huh?
(GASPING)
CONTROL VOICE: There is nothing wrong with your television,
Do not attempt to adjust the picture,
We are now controlling the transmission,
We control the horizontal and the vertical,
We can deluge you with a thousand channels
or expand one single image to crystal clarity
and beyond,
We can shape your vision
to anything our imagination can conceive,
For the next hour,
we will control all that you see and hear,
You are about to experience the awe and mystery
which reaches from the deepest inner mind
to The Outer Limits,
Has humankind risen to the top of the evolutionary ladder
because of its monogamous nature
or in spite of it?
-(MIA LAUGHING) -Yeah, Home sweet home,
You know, you guys could just live together and forget the whole getting married part,
Spoken like a true hedonist,
Well, it's a nice neighborhood,
Very artsy,
So, remind me again why I volunteered to help you guys move?
-You owe me, -Right, I forgot,
How come we never lived together?
-We were 19 and you cheated on me after two weeks, -Oh,
-Oh, yeah, -Ciao, signorina!
I got a copy of the property lease
and the keys to the storage locker,
Who's this guy?
Sylvano Panazut, meet Allan Montese,
-He ain't living here, is he? -He's just helping us move in,
-Sylvano, -Hey,
Thanks, Sylvano, You got the checks we dropped off?
-(SPEAKING ITALIAN) -All right,
-Ciao, -Bye,
Well, you'll be happy to know that the beer sign broke,
But the jail poster made it unscratched,
-Nice, -All right, let's do it, Couch time,
All right,
Hey,
(GROANING)
-I think you're making a mistake, -Here it comes,
-I mean Mia is great but, ,, -But what? More right,
Just hanging up at such an early age,
Your other right, genius,
I gotta get on with my life,
Besides she was good enough for you, wasn't she?
Oh, ancient history,
Yeah, well, Mia isn't history to me, She's my future,
No, now you're starting to sound like that Taiwan prof we had in freshman year,
What was his name again? Jehovah? Johnny?
-Jabane, -Jabane, right,
I made a career out of ditching his class,
What is that? You smell that?
Oh, Sweet ambrosia,
Uh, (GROANING)
Why don't you, uh, knock, introduce yourself?
Yeah, right,
Hey, nice to meet you, I'm unavailable, What's your name?
No, no, I mean if she looks as good as she smells, ,,
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
-Come on, we don't have time for this, -Shh,
See, she's not home, Come on, let's go,
All right, her loss,
(GRUNTING)
Uh, besides, you don't know if that was a girl,
Oh, I know it's a girl,
(TV PLAYING)
I don't think there's room for all this,
What? You have twice the amount of stuff as I do,
You should check out the closet and the bedroom,
There's barely room to fit a Frisbee in there,
Sounds like you already lost the closet battle,
-Make your stand at the medicine cabinet though, -Too late,
Don't worry, I left you the top shelf, Most of it, anyway,
Ah, first domestic spat,
Better you than me,
You? You've never been with one person long enough to have a domestic spat,
Are you suggesting that I can't remain faithful to one woman?
Bingo,
Marriage isn't for you, buddy,
You're not supposed to mention the M word around here, remember?
Oh, that's right, I forgot,
Yeah, I'd love to hang out with you two
and discuss the nuances of my personal life but, alas,
I must leave you,
Thanks for the grub,
Hot date?
Jealous?
I'm out of here, kids, Got a massage with Lolanee,
-Ooh, don't strain yourself, stud-boy, -(SNICKERS)
-Sorry, (CHUCKLES) -Ah, on the contrary, she knows me too well,
-Get out of here, freak, -Thanks, Allan, We couldn't have done it without you,
Oh, that is true,
I'll call you later,
Looks smaller with your couch in here, huh?
Ah, suddenly I feel like a grown up,
Think of it less as growing up and more as
-a permanent slumber party, -Ooh, now you're talking,
Wanna try out the shag carpet?
Ooh!
Yeah!
(INDISTINCT VOICES)
(BEEPING)
Sorry about that,
Uh, I just moved in yesterday, I dropped my bike,
I really didn't mean to bother you,
Moved in yesterday?
Yeah, yeah, I'm Chris, Whoa,
Chris,
Yeah, that's my name,
-What's yours? -Violet,
Well, it's
nice to meet you, Violet,
Hope you don't mind me asking, Are you okay?
I mean, you seem a little, ,,
You like to ride a bicycle,
Like a little boy,
(CHUCKLES)
Yeah, it's my job actually,
I'm a courier,
-A bike courier, -You're in excellent physical condition,
(CHUCKLES)
Thank you,
I, ,, I try to take care of myself,
The bike helps,
(PAGER BEEPING)
Ah, smack, ,, Pager keeps going off,
I better, uh, ,, I better get to work, The packages are piling up,
ANNOUNCER ON TV: Today's episode of Secret Garden
is brought to you by Gideon Industries,
the makers of Gideon 3000 and new Gro-lite 3000
guaranteed to accelerate your plants growth 3,000%,
For same-day delivery, pick up the phone and call
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(MEOWING)
Come here, kitty cat, Come to Violet,
(HISSING)
(HISSES)
(CAT YOWLING)
(HORN BLARING)
Hey!
-Mia? -Tom,
I would've offered to take you out,
Oh, (CHUCKLES) would've been a rain check,
Too much work,
Did you get the tox screen from the victim in Yorktown Heights?
Hmm, this afternoon,
Lieutenant Mchafner just wants to rule out homicide,
Well, tox screen or no tox screen
it wasn't a regular puncture wound given the final position of the victim,
My thought is that he approached her, May I?
Oh, sure,
Okay, so, the perp approached her from behind,
locked both her arms
by sliding his left through her elbows like a key through a lock,
Pressing his weight into her back,
he was then free to jab the serrated knife
directly under the collarbone to the left,
-Oh! -Like so,
(CLEARS THROAT)
Chris! What are you doing here?
-Oh, Tom! You've, um, ,, You've met Chris? -I have,
The paper boy,
-Courier, -Right, courier,
Well, let me know about the tox screen,
I will,
He was just showing me how he thinks a particular homicide occurred,
-I'll show him homicide, -(CHUCKLES) Let it go,
-Paper boy, -Chris!
-Oh, -Look, he likes you,
-Can't really say that I blame the guy, -Oh, come on,
Hey!
I'll make it up to you, Dinner tonight,
Oh, I can't, Backlog of paperwork
and I promised myself I'll get through it by Friday,
Well, at least we have the weekend,
Honey, ,,
Dallas, remember?
Oh, yeah, Right,
Big convention,
Two hundred medical examiners all getting together in the same hotel,
Well then, there is a party I'd hate to miss,
Is, uh, Tom going?
-Yes, -Hmm,
Well, I'll help you pack,
Oh, um, it's already done, Last night,
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Hello?
Mrs, Cummings,
I, uh,
signed for your Gro-lite,
I mean, it was COD so if you could cut me a check, huh?
Mrs, C?
(WATER RUNNING)
(EXHALES)
(DOOR CREAKS OPEN)
(INDISTINCT VOICES)
Ah!
(HISSING)
(SCREAMING)
-Oh! -Hi!
There's something in my apartment, I'm just not strong enough,
Help me, you're my only hope,
-Now? You want me to help you now? -Yes, now,
Okay, well, I'll be right there, Just give me a minute,
I just got to ditch the leftovers,
Courier jobs are supposed to last one year,
And one turned in to two, And the two turned into three,
Yeah, I really like the freedom,
But it's just not really a career, you know?
I gotta think more long term,
So when I get the money raised, I'm gonna open a bike shop of my own,
I've got the perfect place picked out already,
You know, it's funny, I normally don't talk this much,
(INDISTINCT VOICES)
That is some amazing perfume you're wearing,
Uh, so, what do you plan on growing in here?
It makes one heck of a terrarium,
Whoa, Hey, uh, ,,
-Your neck, -What about my neck?
Ow! Hey!
I can't do this,
Um, there's something I didn't tell you last time,
I actually live with somebody,
We're engaged, to be married,
Married,
Yeah, married, you know? Bride, groom, cake? Chicken dance,
You don't want me?
Oh, no, Uh, you are, ,,
You're quite a, ,, Quite a, ,,
Sorry, I've really gotta go, ,,
I'll see you soon, Chris,
Uh, yeah, yeah, I'm sure we'll be bumping into each other
in the hall or the elevator or maybe the pool even,
We don't have a pool,
Okay, the lobby room then, Goodbye, see you,
Ah,
ALLAN: She was working her mojo on you, man,
Was she hot?
(GASPS)
She made Miss November look like a troll,
(SIGHS)
And what about that fragrance? That sweet ambrosia,
It's some kind of perfume,
Up close,
I almost couldn't keep it together,
Well, you're not married yet,
Not for another six months,
Look, I know you might find this hard to believe,
but being faithful to Mia is more important to me
than screwing with some hot chick down the hall,
Marriage, Monogamy, Mmm-mmm, boring,
Look, you know how tough it was for me
to decide to move in with Mia before we got hitched,
Now I'm locked and loaded and
you keep throwing curve balls at me every chance you get,
Well, I just thought that, ,,
I, ,, I finally feel I'm on the right track, you know, ,,
Not like I'm out there floating around,
Now I've got a chance at a real life,
Okay, look, I'm sorry, (SIGHS)
I just, ,, I would hate to have you walk down the isle of death without a lifeline,
Okay? I mean, this
is
A forever decision, You know that, don't you?
I know,
That is, unless second thoughts come in first place,
There's nobody else, There's no second thoughts, Period,
Yo, Chris,
Hey, Chris, Yo! You okay?
What? What? I'm not giving up my manhood just 'cause I wanna marry Mia, all right?
Okay,
Okay, I get it,
Look, I'll get the next round, okay?
No hard feelings, right?
(SIGHS)
(GUITAR PLAYING)
(KNOCKS ON DOOR)
I brought you a plant,
Fresh, from my garden to yours,
-Gee, thanks, it's a, ,, -Violet,
-Of course, it is, -I need to talk with you, Chris,
Oh, no, uh, we can't,
Okay, come in,
Uh, my fiancee will be home soon,
Fiancee?
Mia, Her name's Mia,
You'll marry and live happily ever after,
Well, that's what the brochure said,
Have you ever been married?
No,
Oh, well,
Surely you must have a boyfriend then, right?
(CHUCKLES) No boyfriend,
Are you from around here?
From far away,
Oh, what about your family?
Where are they from?
They didn't survive,
I'm the only one left,
Oh, man, ,,
What happened?
They didn't survive,
Oh, right, Sorry, I, just, ,, Um, ,,
I know, It hurts, I lost my dad when I was 12,
It hurts,
Yeah,
Uh, you can relate, Mia, she never really understood,
She kind of grew up in a Norman Rockwell painting,
Perfect mom, perfect dad,
Perfect life,
Is Mia perfect?
She's close,
Norman Rockwell was one of the greatest painters
of 20th century Americana,
His Four Freedom paintings made him a household name in 1943,
Oh, did you study art history?
Yes, Today,
That was my minor in college,
Does Mia want children?
Uh, ,,
What was it again that you needed me for?
Does Mia want children?
Yeah, someday,
A couple of rugrats,
I want children,
Hey,
Let's just say, I find it interesting that on the heels of our little Tom incident,
I find you alone with earth child, The art aficionado,
Like I forced her to stop by,
Forced is the wrong word,
(SIGHS)
Well, it's not like I work with her or anything,
That woman's dangerous, Chris,
She's just lonely,
I mean, she lost her parents,
I don't think she has any friends or, ,,
No, that's not it,
There's something not quite right about her,
Why are we doing this?
I mean, we never argue,
What?
I'm not arguing,
Well, what's all this about?
Are you having second thoughts?
About moving in together or getting married?
Both,
Mia,
I love you,
That's not an answer,
Sure, it is,
Well, I mean it's just that you've never lived with anyone before and, ,,
-And? -And, ,,
Well, you're a guy, for starters,
-Thanks for noticing, -Seriously,
Everybody knows that guys are naturally commitment phobic,
Wait, Wait a minute,
I asked you to marry me, remember?
-You having second thoughts? -No,
No, I wanna get married, I do,
It's just that
I was determined to get established in my career and then get married,
Later, ,,
Much later, ,,
(EXHALES)
And then I met you,
What, are you sorry you met me?
No! No, of course not,
You know it's only natural to have doubts,
I know, It's natural,
I have an idea,
Let's go to Yaboo,
grab some sushi, my treat,
And make it an early night,
Sounds great,
(MIA READING)
Whoa,
Jeez,
What the hell?
(WATER RUNNING)
-Morning, -Morning,
We'd better leave soon if we wanna make our flight,
Mmm-hmm, just finishing up,
They found a dismembered corpse at the dump,
All neatly wrapped up in black plastic,
-Who's on it? -It's coming to me,
But you're welcome to assist, Should be interesting,
-Police have any theories? -No,
Just got off the phone with the investigating officer,
Apparently, the blood was drained from the body before it was chopped up,
The last perp who was draining the blood from his victims thought he was Nosferatu,
-Forensics, Never a dull moment, -Yeah,
They also sent over this odd substance they found in some of the wounds,
I need you to analyze it,
Just do the prelims, Send it out for a full DNA and we'll look at the results
when we're back on Monday,
Strange,
I for one am looking forward to getting out of town for a couple of days,
Yeah, me too,
Think I can use a break,
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
-Hey, -Hey,
I wondered if I could go over some of the case findings with you,
-If you'd rather not, ,, -No, no, It's okay, Come on in,
(HORN HONKING)
(YELLS)
Ugh!
I'm all right, I'm all right,
Ah!
(GROANING)
Ouch, Ah,
Chris, your knee,
-Ah, it's all right, -No, come in, let me help you,
I don't think that'd be a very good idea,
Chris?
-Ugh! -Please, you're hurt,
What's your take on this?
The preliminary finding is that our dismembered friend
died of a puncture wound to the sternum,
How it got there is still anybody's guess,
It appears to be some sort of spike,
Well, there are soil particles,
But there are also foreign substances here we couldn't identify,
I know, You know what else?
It can wait a couple hours,
What do you say? Dinner?
I mean, you're probably starving,
I could eat, Bet there's a good Mexican place around here,
Actually, I was, uh, thinking something a little more private,
-I know you're engaged, -Right,
Look, I have to say this, I've held it in way too long and it's, ,,
It's now or never,
The very first time we met, I felt something,
A spark, Call it a connection,
I enjoy working with you,
I enjoy talking to you, I enjoy just being around you,
But, beyond that, there's something else, ,,
Something alive,
Passionate,
I was hoping that maybe,
just maybe,
you might have some of the same feelings for me,
You know, I could really just put my leg up on the table in the kitchen,
The bed is better,
Ow!
So, have you been here all day?
Yes,
Ow,
How do you live? What do you do?
I wait, ,,
Oh, you're a waitress?
No, I'm waiting,
For what?
For someone, ,,
Who?
I, ,,
I told you, I, ,,
I'm engaged to Mia,
Only one woman forever?
Is she really the right one?
This is your last chance to taste freedom,
I won't tell anyone, You can trust me,
There are thousands of single guys outside that door who would really,
really love to be, ,,
I'm not interested in guys, Chris,
I want you,
Just tonight,
One perfect moment,
Be with me,
I am here for you, only you,
Only, ,, Me, ,,
I understand you, Chris, Like you are a part of me,
(DIALING)
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
CHRIS: Hey, we can't come to the phone right now, but, if you leave a message
we'll get back to you just as soon as we possibly can,
MIA: Wow, We sound so official,
CHRIS: Stop it! Hit the button,
(BEEPING)
Hi, it's me again, Um, ,,
Where are you?
I'm at the hotel,
Listen, there's something that I need to tell you,
You were right about Tom, Um, ,,
He made a move, Nothing sleazy, he just wanted a chance
to state his case and
news flash! He likes me, You were right,
But, um, don't worry, We didn't do anything,
The feeling definitely isn't mutual,
But he did make me realize how much I really do love you,
I am so sorry about last night! I was being
completely neurotic,
I guess you're not the only one with the jitters,
But we're gonna be just fine, baby, I promise,
(EXHALES)
Whoa!
Looks like she went totally wild kingdom on you, man,
(SIGHS) Yeah,
Ah! (WINCING)
Look, I got to level with you,
You messed up, Big time,
Uh, you think?
(SIGH) This is so bad,
I'm screwed,
You? You got everything,
(SCOFFS) True love, huh?
You got a hot fiancee,
You got a solid job,
Not to mention me as a best friend,
What are you talking about?
You're always the one that's trying to get me to get back
into that dating scene,
Uh, that is an act, bro, It's an act,
Don't you think that I wish I could hold on to someone like Mia forever?
Look at me, man,
I'm not really single and lovin' it,
Truth,
Down deep,
(SIGHS) you're the lucky one,
Being this high maintenance has serious drawbacks,
(CLICKING TONGUE)
-(TELEPHONE RINGS) -Oh, no, ,,
Oh, it's Mia again, I'm too tired to talk,
All right,
I'm whipped,
All right, I'm out of here, bud,
(YELLS)
Yeah, you might wanna maybe put some aloe on that or something,
(SIGHS)
CHRIS ON ANSWERING MACHINE: Hit the button,
MIA: Hi! It's me again, um, ,, I'm at the hotel,
Where are you?
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Anybody home?
Hello?
Violet?
Uh, ,,
We need to have a little talk,
About our buddy, Chris,
All right?
Look, he is engaged,
Which means off limits,
Get it?
Hmm, ,,
Although you two have obviously
shared something special
the other day,
I'm here to tell you that it's over, all right?
Time to shut down the sex machine,
(RUSTLING)
Violet?
Is that you?
Ahhh!
(ALLAN SCREAMING)
Chris?
Are you here?
Chris, ,,
-Chris, wake up, -(COUGHS)
Ugh, ,,
Mia, ,,
Ugh, ,,
Oh, my God, You're burning up,
I'm calling Dr, Coots,
(COUGHS)
I called you at least 10 times, I was worried, I thought something had, ,,
-Chris, your back, -(GASPS)
Ugh!
I am so sorry, Mia,
I really screwed up,
Never again, I swear,
I don't know what came over me,
It was like I was in some insane dream,
We'll talk about it later,
I made an appointment for you to see Dr, Coots at noon,
Okay,
Get checked out and then call me,
I love you, Mia,
-So did you find them together? -Just listen to me, all right?
I'm listening,
I compared the viscous fluid in the Chris' wound to the samples drawn
from the wounds in the dismembered torso,
Now, I'm just going on what I can see in the binary but, yes,
-it looks like a dead match, -What about the DNA?
(SIGHS) This is where it gets weird,
The genetic fingerprint of this stuff is like nothing our lab has ever seen,
It's not human, it's not an animal,
The closest thing they've come up with is an angiosperm,
-A flower? -The pistil, to be precise,
The female reproductive organ of a botanical, ,,
A flower in which they have no taxometrics whatsoever,
Maybe some rain forest type,
Does this connect Chris to the killing?
Whatever this stuff is, it didn't come from Chris,
Then where did it come from?
Violet,
Call the police,
Violet?
Violet!
Allan?
-Ahhh! -Chris,
Oh,
I found you,
What happened to you?
I am almost ready,
I am not from this world,
I barely survived the journey,
The last of my kind,
To survive, I must adapt,
And reproduce,
I scratched you,
Infected you,
Changed you,
Your seed, You gave me millions of your seed,
I used them all,
Every living one,
For what?
A new species,
Part you, ,,
But more of me,
To spread across land,
To become many,
To become dominant,
To replace your kind on this planet,
That's impossible,
I have served my purpose,
The odds against me were enormous,
But I found you,
My cycle is over,
There is only one task left,
(SIREN WAILING)
You should be very proud,
You are the father,
(SCREECHING)
Oh, my God,
CONTROL VOICE: Commitment and loyalty
are not stuffy issues of the past
but are enduring qualities that raise us above creatures that procreate
without compassion